A Buzzless High

One of the reasons I smoke is because drinking just doesn’t do it for me. My first year of college I drank enough beer that the rest of my college career only involved liquor, and later wine. I’m a big guy and the amount of beer I had to drink to reach a good level of intoxication meant I was pumping my stomach full of loads of carbonation. With liquor I could do shots, jello, mixed drinks, or just drinking Jack straight like the then-future US Senator Blutarsky did in Animal House. A big problem I have with drinking, other than just the amount it took to get my buzz on, was that it incapacitated me to such a degree. I always felt ill when I drank such a large amount and my abilities were not up to par with the activities I liked to participate in. Sure, I could stumble down the street to grab a slice, but I couldn’t drive anywhere to get snacks or visit people.

I always found it easy to clear my head when drinking, part of that was because I learned early in life that if I act fucked up, I’ll feel more fucked up. So I sort of exaggerated the symptoms of drinking. Sometimes I was called on it, and sometimes I passed under the radar and was able to fit in at the basement party. With weed, I could still clear my head and considered myself a high functioning pot head. I could drive safely, go to work, interact with family, and overall get shit done. Basically, I could clear the mental buzz but maintain the physical benefits – my knee and stomach wouldn’t hurt as much and I could continue to relax. I was a high functioning stoner and reaped the benefits. More on this later.

I’m giving this background because I recently came across an article on Wired Science site through Ars Technica. I’m just going to link to the article because I can’t do the science it in justice, but the headline is a decent summary “Modified Marijuana Chemical Blocks Pain Without Buzz.” As I understand it, during experiments with mice, scientists discovered that the THC chemical” 5-desoxy-THC” works as a painkiller and can be applied without making the test subjects actually high.

This brings about an interesting question on the motivations for smoking pot. Obviously, I smoke mostly for recreation. I also smoke to de-stress and deal with stomach and knee pain. Some people smoke for glaucoma, or chronic pain, or as part of a comprehensive cancer treatment program. So just a straw poll – are you smoking for recreation or pain or another purpose. If you are smoking for a medical reason, would you smoke marijuana that would only help with the pain, as opposed to the whole shebang*?

Smoke Well,

XY

*I've always wanted to use "shebang" in a sentence. Nailed it!

Passing the Pipe: Words from Dr. What

In a previous post, I mentioned guest writers. This is one of them, writing under the name Dr. What. This article is an introduction to him, his style, and eventually, his pipes.

Smoke Well,
XY
____________________________________________________________

As my friends have stated before, many people smoke weed for different reasons. It’s actually pretty amusing as to why people smoke and where they started and all that history. For me, it’s not about why I smoke so much as it is where I smoke. I love smoking in new places, whether it’s a new home, a park, a bridge, driving, etc. I love trying new places to smoke. It’s not even about breaking the law or anything malicious like that.

For me, smoking is about being somewhere new, somewhere outside your element (even if smoking takes you to your element) and living life the way it was meant to be. The first time I ever smoked was in a park, at sundown, with my cousin. I was paranoid that someone would see me doing something illegal and I would be destroyed, both as a student and professionally. But this first act of rebelliousness turned me into someone who I love being these days, a Road Smoker.

First off, I’d like to say that before you try smoking in your car or going on any kind of high ride, know if you are functional enough to do so. If not, have someone else drive. I know many people who get stupid once they get high, so if a trip is in order... I’m the driver, cause I’m a functional high.

Recently, I’ve been in a rut. I moved to a new place, so I don’t know the area to well and I don’t wanna get arrested (obviously). So my mind has created a plan, to start going on drives more often, not to get high, but to see more of where I live so that when I do make that jump to go on drives or rides, I’ll know where I should and should not go.

My two favorite memories of smoking in new places was my recent trip (as in last summer) to NC with XX and XY. We smoked everywhere! Beach, porch, walking down the street, it was early enough in the season to do all these things. But the second, is any trip I have to Atlantic City... The trip is just over an hour and is the perfect length for a blunt ride, some tunes, good conversation and friends.

You see, the trip, is not about the destination. Sure, you “need” to go from point A to point B, but the most fun on those trips are going to be you with your friends. While stoned in A.C., a few friends and I were walking down the boardwalk (at around 2am) and up to us comes this guy who just blurts out that he has weed to sell. Now, being in public this threw me for a loop. I had never been confronted by a complete stranger and just offered weed. Since I was already high as shit, I turned him down, but the fact still remains...

It’s not about the destination, it’s about how you get there.

I’ve also recently decided to go camping this summer. I haven’t gotten many plans together because I’m not sure if this is going to be a solo trip, or a group trip. But I do know one thing, weed will be there to experience the great outdoors. I am an eagle scout so I’m not worried about being alone in the woods or anything, this trip for me symbolizes the fact that I’ve grown so much, that I can live out where most people dread going, without electronics and getting in tune with nature... STONED.

I think what might end up happening, if I go alone, is I’ll take my macbook (look at that great plug!) and chronicle this trip with a blog post (and hopefully pictures). But summer is still a few months away, I have no idea what equipment I still need to acquire, and I don’t know where I’ll be camping, but know this... IT WILL HAPPEN!

Just remember, exploration is how you find your own persona and find out what you truly are capable of doing... just make sure your safe, and have a contingency plan for when the Zombie Apocalypse comes.


-Dr. What

Shopping Oppurtunity

Woot is one of my favorite websites to visit every day. I have bought many t-shirts, a food processor, A/V accessories, and random crap from them.

Today, available till 1AM central time, Woot is offering a Kitrics Digital Nutrition Label Scale in a variety of colors for $15.99 plus shipping. This could be the scale for you. I'm not sure of what range of weights measures, so be sure to read the small print and ensure it can count grams.



Smoke Well,
XY

DUI Checkpoint

Sobriety strikes again. The search for a new job has begun, not that I find anything really all that wrong with my current one. Except the salary and hours. I am looking for a new job with high qualifications and expectations. I want to use my expensive degree and challenge myself to excel. I also want to work normal 9-5 or 8-4 or 7-3 hours so I can spend time at home XX. And any salary that will allow me to splurge and afford nice things will be greatly appreciated, too.

The sobriety comes into play because with any new job comes new hoops to jump through. It’s been almost a month since I have stopped smoking, and a few days longer for XX. She’s a trooper and supporting me through my difficult time. I am preparing for an impending drug test, even though I don’t exactly know when it will be or how it will be administered. I’m hoping for a pee test since my last hair test didn’t exactly pan out. I expect to have a background check before June and hopefully a test around the same time, if at all.

Not smoking has its benefits though. Home is nicer now, without bowls cluttering the coffee table. Even better, when I wipe said table the cloth doesn’t come away black with ash. I’ve really enjoyed having the extra money. I’ve been able to buy a new laptop, travel, and try new cooking projects (which will be detailed in later posts). I haven’t felt any health benefits like I was hoping for. We have also been drinking again. In addition, I no longer panic when I drive by cops.

Even though I won’t be smoking again till my vacation in May, I will do my best to continue to update the blog semi-regularly. Guest posts by guest authors are always welcome, and at least one is coming down the pipeline. I plan on blogging about sobering up, alternates to pot, what to do with pot supplies when smoking isn’t an option, and anything else that comes along.

Whenever people tell me they don’t smoke, I don’t judge them and demand to know why not. Instead, I simply smile and say, “Thanks, now there is more around for me.” So during these next few weeks enjoy your stash while my bowl is empty.

Smoke Well,
XY

Food for Thought: Hot Dogs

First, a brief history. Sausages were the precursor to hot dogs, and may have originated in Frankfurt, Germany. They started being sold as hot dogs around 1870 on Coney Island in New York. In case you are an alien, hot dogs are tubes of meat (typically beef, or a combo of other meats) served on a bun with a variety of toppings available Also check out this wiki page of hot dog variations by region.

Hot dogs are like a good pair of jeans - they are easy to accessorize. Different color denim - different types of meat. A belt? Ketchup. I like hot dogs because the flavor in them is basic, but they are easy to dress up, and stylize with a pair jacket or any number of other toppings. Okay, that’s enough of that metaaphor.

Instead of a metaphor, let me tell you about a mountain of gluttony that I scaled late last year. I was on vacation in Phoenix, Arizona and on one of our last nights in town, we went to Alice Cooperstown restaurant near the stadium downtown. Co-owned with Randy Johnson, the pitcher who exploded a fucking bird during Spring Training in 2001, the restaurant features a menu item named for Johnson, the Big Unit. (FYI, the video incorrectly identifies the bird as a duck. It was actually a dove. And his name is Johnson, not Jackson. I think they might be mislabeled because the MLB has removed every other video of the incident.)

Weighing in at one full pound and measuring 22 inches and served on a full baguette, this meal is also served with two sides. This daunting dog was featured on Man versus Food as the fully loaded Big Unit. Plus sides. I’m not totally insane, and I wasn’t high, so I stayed safe with the sides of chili and fries.

Because I’m The Man, I managed to finish my Big Unit and it’s accompanying side dishes. My two friends that I was competing against did not fare as well as I did. B ate about half of his monster, and K chickened out. He peeled the casing off of the meat, didn’t work on the bread, and still didn’t finish the Vienna Beef.
Above is a picture of me holding my portion of the Big Unit. If you should chose to eat something this size, I would recommend hot sauce or ketchup because the dog got bland after a while.

I was inspired to write this post because hot dogs for me are a good stand by food when you aren’t sure what you want to flavor your food with. It’s easy to go sweet (ketchup), salty (cheese), or spicy (Siracha). I made two unique hot dog blends recently and wanted to share them. Today’s selection, show immediately below,
was on a bed of baked beans, with corn and American cheese and Siracha and ketchup. Below is my other design, a chili cheese dog with a Mexican cheese blend and salsa.
As I leave you with this information to digest, I want to know what makes your perfect hot dog, and how you try to accessorize it.

Smoke well,
XY

PS. hot dogs are also known as wieners. WIENERS I SAY!

Blogging with Baggage

Everyone smokes pot for their own reasons. Some use it to medicate, to motivate, to pass the time, to escape, to relax. For the past six months, the reasons that I smoke pot changed.

I remember way back when I started smoking, I loved the euphoria I got from smoking. The first time I smoked - really smoked and got high - and just laid on my friends bed and laughed for what seemed like a long time. Since then I've had many different reactions to smoking - mostly the munchies - but some sessions still stand out in memory.

I remember inaugurating a newly remodeled bathroom quietly with an old friend.
I remember discovering new burn ride routes.
I remember the thrill from smoking at work.
I remember the joy of new pieces.
I remember the first time I smoked with family, and with old friends.
I remember the first time I wanted to smoke because I was angry at being evicted.

The last one is the most similar to what I recently experienced, when smoking went from being recreational to an escape from life. Between troubles with work, school, family, money, time management, friends, maturation, everything became overwhelming. No longer did I come home from a long day and smoke till I got high and enjoyed it, but I started power smoking more and buying larger quantities. I stashed lighters away in drawers, pockets, and corners so that there would always be one accessible. I had travel kits/smoking supplies ready to go.

Smoking was still a daily ritual, but now with a very different emphasis. It was a darker time for me, and as a result of me getting lost in the transitions of life, I lost the interest in blogging. Who wants to talk about how much they enjoyed smoking because their boss yelled at them, or they got a bad evaluation from a professor. I didn't have enough time for all the cooking projects or travel or exciting things that I wanted to do. I didn't even have enough energy to get my writing partner involved in the blog.

I managed to have some fun along the way, but now that it is all said and done, I am glad to be free of the pressure that I felt. I have things to talk about now that life is getting exciting again.

So friends, I apologize for the delay of fun, and welcome you back to the blog about the best times around.

Smoke Well,

XY

Cleaner Smoking

I think a great thing about pot is that I can use it to make mundane tasks fun. The vacuum sounds louder. Driving is smooth sailing. Just moving in repetitive ways can be fun if my body is relaxed enough. Getting to the point of being relaxed and capable of doing stuff can be a tough balancing act. It is often far too easy to just take one more hit and then – stuck on the couch.

One of the routine tasks that I had to do the other day was one of my least favorite, cleaning my piece. Not only does it leave my hands smelly and sticky, it takes time and effort and caution to do correctly. The worst part – not being able to smoke the piece for several hours while it dries.

As things happen, it was late and I was bored. I decided that I was tired of working hard to pull hits and wanted to clean Littlefoot. The significantly details about Littlefoot as far as cleaning goes – a big chamber, a long pipe, and thin glassed. Littlefoot, like in The Land Before Time, is a brontosaurus. The shotgun is the tail and the mouthpiece is...the mouth. More details on this piece, and others, later

Cleaning bowls is tough. Making sure the water is the right temperature, the right chemicals and tools need to be available. For a long time I used only Bling, a combo of liquid and sediments that worked well with smaller pieces. As my collection of gear grew, so did my resources. Pipe cleaners were used for a while, toothpicks became a staple for scraping resin, I tried using salt as an additional scrub.

Typically, when I clean Littlefoot, I run hot water through him and then use some Bling. Once some of the resin has softened, I'll use toothpicks to start picking away resin from the bowl or mouthpiece. I will let the bowl fill with water, plugging all holes, and then shake loose anything that I can. I'll drain, add an abrasive like salt or Bling, refill with water, and shake again, repeating as necessary. I also use rubbing alcohol to clean bowls and it works really well to freshen scents. Sometimes, if I have a large enough container or a small enough bowl, I will fill that with a solution and shake that with the piece inside of it.

One problem that routinely develops as a result of Littlefoot's shape is that salt drains down into his feet and doesn't easily come out. In addition, his legs are hourglass shaped. I usually have to rock sediment out of him using water to lubricate the process. This time, instead of salt, I tried using baking soda as my scrubbing agent. The results were similar but left a strange aftertaste.

After 20 or so minutes of cleaning, I usually have resin on my hands and Littlefoot is only looking marginally cleaner. The souls of his feet stay dark and the top of the chamber stays dirty because the water level doesn't rise enough. His tail and neck stay pretty clean, but he gets dirty again at the mouth. The underside of the bowl has dingle-berries that are parallel to the glass and impossible to remove.

Why I don't boil bowls: One time my friend, I'll call him Simple Matt, offered to clean my bowl Snackpack by boiling it along with his. At the time, I was a relatively new smoker and had no techniques for cleaning developed yet. Well, he got stoned and forgot to remove the bowls from the uncovered pot of water. After maybe 20 minutes the water had evaporated and the bowls were simply sitting on a very hot surface. To make matters even worse, in his frantic scramble to remove the bowls from the empty but hot pot, Snackpack was dropped, splitting in two.

What do you think is the best way to clean pieces, whether they be bowls, bongs, pipes, steamrollers, slides, one-hitter, or anything else you have. Any recommended products or processes?

Good luck and smoke well.

-XY

Lasagna - Sauce

I think I nailed the sauce, but we'll have to wait several hours before I can test it and find out for sure. Here's how the sauce happened:

1. Peel skin from onion, 5 small/medium garlic cloves (I was getting towards the middle of a head so I used what I had, but I'd say this is equivalent to about 3 large cloves), and shallot. Chop coarsely.

2. Peel skin off sausage (if necessary) by slitting skin down length of sausage with sharp knife and gently pulling casing away from the filling.

3. Drop large pieces of sausage (pull apart with fingers or gently cut with knife) and the ground beef into a large pot with 1 tbsp olive oil and the chopped garlic, onions, and shallots.


















4. Cook together in own juices on medium low heat until meat is pale brown with a slight pink tinge. The meat shouldn't over cook because of the amount of juice in the pan keeping it moist, but you might want to keep an eye on it. Remember, the meat will cook all the way through while it simmers with the rest of the sauce!

5. While the meat etc cooks chop the green bell pepper and Serrano chili.























6. When the meat looks like it's been cooked to your satisfaction (the onions should still hold their form but they'll look like they're beginning to become slightly transparent), add about half of the chopped Serrano, stir into meat mixture, and simmer together for about 2 more minutes.


















7. After the 2 minutes is up add a 29 oz can of crushed tomatoes along with the rest of the Serrano and the green bell pepper.


















8. Stir together until well combined.


















9. Cover pot and simmer for 2-4 hours. I'll probably end up close to 4 hours.

I chose to make the sauce on the stove top for convenience since I'll be building a whole other dish and only wanted to dirty one pot, but if I were planning on leaving the apartment or just making a pasta sauce then I would use our Crock Pot. If you wanted to use a slow cooker you would simply transfer the mear/onion/garlic/shallot/Serrano mixture into the crock pot after Step 7, taking or leaving as much of the juices as you want (more juice means more flavor but also more fat...it's personal preference). Proceed with Step 8 and then cover and cook on high for 3-4 hours or, preferably, on low for 4-6 hours. It's tough to overcook things like this in the Crock Pot so don't worry about exact times. DO NOT OPEN CROCK POT COVER DURING COOKING.

In the time that it took me to write this all out the apartment has begun to smell delicious. I love these pasta sauce/chili type recipes because the aromas slowly change through the cooking process. While I wait (im)patiently for the sauce to cook I'll chill and watch "How the States Got Their Shapes" on the History Channel, then I'll forge ahead with the cheese sauce filling for the lasagna. Until then...

Lasagna

I'm planning to make lasagna this weekend and, if all goes as planned, you can follow along through the steps. I usually go "off-book" (as in recipe book...obvi) when I cook and eyeball the amounts of ingredients that I add, but I'll try my damnedest to keep up with what I add and/or document it all photographically so that we know exactly how to re-make the dish if it's good and so anyone else who accesses this page can try to make it to.

First, the ingredients. Now, this is only what we're planning on putting in it right now but I usually raid the spice cabinet a few times when I'm in the middle of recipes so this is subject to change. Also note that I'm making the sauce from scratch so many of these ingredients are for that.

1 29 oz can tomato puree
1 29 oz can crushed tomatoes
1 6 oz can of tomato paste
4 large hot Italian sausages (it's okay if it's in the casing...we can cut off the part we don't want pretty easily)
1/4-1/2 lb ground beef (we're going with 85/15 because we like the flavor)
medium-large Spanish or yellow onion
1 medium shallot
1 head of garlic (okay, that's a lot...but we haven't decided how much to use or whether or not to roast it first so we're keeping our options open for now)
1 green bell pepper
1 fresh Serrano chili pepper (this is a shot in the dark - we know we want spicy but we don't know peppers well enough to figure out which variety will give us what we want)
1 box no-boil lasagna noodles
1 small container ricotta cheese
1 cup grated mozzerella cheese
1 cup parmesan/romano cheese blend
2 medium-small zucchinis
1 lb frozen spinach
2 fresh tomatoes
~2 tbsp olive oil
salt
pepper

It looks like a lot of ingredients but they're all relatively inexpensive, especially considering the sheer volume of food that it will produce.

So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to pack a bowl and watch some Food Network to get myself revved up and then I'm going to cook the sauce. After the chopping and meat browning is done and the ingredients are assembled I'll let it simmer together for anywhere from 2-4 hours and probably do another minor cooking project which is yet to be determined and may or may not be related to this recipe. Once the sauce is finished I'll make some sort of cheese blend sauce and prep the veggies. When I finish THAT I'll go ahead and assemble the whole thing and then refrigerate it until tomorrow night, at which time the lovely boyfriend and myself will enjoy dinner, wine, and a movie.

Check back later for my progress and possibly some pictures!

Why hello there big bad world...we meet again.

Arriving home from a family vacation right around New Years time means that an empty fridge (sad face) and the possibilities for new years resolutions (double sad face) stand before me. I don't generally believe in resolutions (if you're really going to be serious about doing things differently then why put off the start date til January 1? Or why bother to embark on an endeavor that's just a spur of the moment thought thrown on to your list of other poorly thought out resolutions?), but this year seems different to me. Maybe it's because I graduated college and got a job in the middle of 2010 and I'm the type of person who needs distinct beginnings, middles, and ends, but I somehow feel as if this is really it for me - life starts now. This is a beginning for me. I'm not getting any younger but I have a ways to go before I need to start worrying about getting old. I have bills to pay but no kids, pets, or other major responsibilities. It's totally cool if I don't call home every week and - get this - sometimes I actually WANT to call my mother just to say hey. Having gradually eased in to all of those things I feel a distinct need for a starting point from which I can measure my successes, failures, and everything in between.

As you may have guessed, I will not be making any formal resolutions this year, but from here on out I will try my damnedest to take full control and ownership over the things that are mine, relinquish control over things that are not, and do all that I can to just take it easy on the in between things until they fall into one category or the other. I'm optimistic that by doing these things I can effectively keep my shit together and have a happy and (relatively) healthy 2011.

Enjoy my badly spaced run on paragraphs and, more importantly, happy New Year!

-xx